The other thing I like is to run around and yell and bark and eat rubbish and chase cats and chase birds and chase squirrels and chase babies and chase children and chase the postman and chase the delivery man.

Oooooh, and I love to eat.  

I'm mad about eating.  I love to eat dog food, any kind, I love it all, and I love to eat cat food and fish food and bird food and rabbit food and people food and baby food and apple sauce and sardines and chocolate pie and dirt and driveway pebbles and slippers and old leaves and cigarette butts and best of all, I like to eat garbage - old bones, and banana skins and coffee grounds and orange peel and egg shells and shoelaces and lobster shells and paper bags. 

Oooooh, I really love to eat.

I love to protect my house, so I bark and bark when I hear anyone coming in case it's a burglar.  When I hear wheels on the driveway, I bark, when the milkman comes, I bark, when visitors come, I bark, when children come home from school, I bark, when the telephone rings, I bark, when  the neighbors go in or out, I bark; when the plumber comes, I bark; when anyone goes down our street at all, on foot, or in a car or on a bicycle, doesn't matter - I bark. Sometimes I just bark for joy and I keep right on barking even after I know it's my own people and everybody yells at me to "shut up" and that makes more noise and I love noise, so I jump about and bark harder and we have such good times playing together.

Sometimes when they let me out at night, I run away, and they chase me. Sometimes they come out in their pajamas carrying some food I like and they run down the street after me with slippers flapping.  I like that.  When I let them catch me, I lick them all over because I love them so much and I like to show them how much I love them.

What I don't like is when they go out and leave me at home alone.  Then I lie down in front of the front door and put my head on my paws and wrinkle up my forehead and droop my ears and I cry real tears and sometimes they go out and leave me along anyway.  Then I bark and bark and bark and when I'm all worn out, I go into the hall cupboard and lick all their coats, and their shoes till they come home. I get their things all nice and slobbery and then when they come home, I jump all over them.  I jump up and down and up and down and up and down, barking and barking and licking and licking till everybody is all sloppy and wet.

I love them I tell you, I just love them.  Oooooh

Sometimes when they're going out and I cry, I am allowed to go along too. I love that.  Then I jump around in the car and slobber up the windows with my tongue and nose and I breathe down people's necks and bump their hats off with my nose and chew suitcase handles or handbags or I stick my head out the window and let my tongue hang out and watch the spit fly back and bark at other dogs and cars. Sometimes I lick the back of the driver's neck and scare him.  If it's very hot, I can lie across three people's laps at once.

I love people, and I'm so happy.

(Sent in by Karen Kaeumlen)